Jealousy

i listen to you sing.
i see her comments.

i don't know if i can ever listen to you in the same way again.

nor believe the words you say in the same unquestioning way.

because i will always wonder if you are singing for her when you say you are singing for me.

or if you are thinking of her when you say a song is for me.

you thought it would be a simple hit and run,
but there are some cuts that run deeper than they look,
and organs that bruise in places that no one has seen.

you have changed the way i look at you,
altered my perceptions of your voice,
tinted the light in which i view you,
tainted the cup from which i drink you.

and now my heart is heavy,
and i can no longer fly away into fantasies of being with you,
nor lift myself unto your arms,
for she will always be there in the background - weighing me down.

and now my eyes are dull,
and i can not see you as clearly as i had before;
nor think of you with my mind's eye
without also seeing her shadow over you.

your purity was so precious to me,
your honesty so valuable,
yet you lied
to obtain information
that was there for all and sundry to see
(had you but stopped for a moment to really look)

wasn't our life together
proof enough
of my fidelity?